Donald Trump returned twice in the past week to his favorite place for softball questions. Fox News rewarded him with exactly what he was looking for—these questions weren’t even softballs. They were little fluffy clouds of cotton candy wafted toward him on a breeze of adulation, and Buzzfeed has helpfully compiled them so we can appreciate their brazenness.

In an interview airing June 25, Fox’s Pete Hegseth asked Trump questions including the following:

Mr. President, you face resistance on this bill; but, of course, you’ve faced resistance on the entirety of your agenda. Who’s been your biggest opponent? Has it been Democrats resisting? Has it been fake news media? Has it been deep state leaks? What’s -- when you think about it, what holds it up the most?

Fake news and the deep state, right out of the gate!

How frustrating is it to have former president Obama there, out there leading the resistance?

I mean … leading? He’s spoken out a few times, and no shade, but it’s not exactly like he’s leading die-ins outside Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s office.

How do you overcome that when someone like Senator Warren – Elizabeth Warren literally says 'People are going to die because of President Trump’s healthcare bill'?

In translation: How do you overcome the truth? As it happens, Trump is a practiced liar so that shouldn’t give him pause.

I opened up the failing "New York Times" and "The Washington Post" this morning. No mention at all of this bill that you're signing today. For veterans who are so passionate about this, it's such a historic bill, are they going to cover this? And if they don't, why don't they cover it the way they cover every breathless scandal in the media today?

“The failing.” Is it part of Fox’s agreement to get the interview to refer to media outlets in Trump’s preferred language? Also, about thatSeriously, though. How surprising is it that the coverage came after Trump actually signed the bill making it easier for the Department of Veterans Affairs to fire people?

We were just in the East Room for a historic bill signing. Tell us about the bill that you just signed. [...]

Why would a bill -- it is historic, a historic civil service reform -- but why would a bill that makes so much common sense to so many Americans, why would it be so hard to get done? Because this was a difficult fight to the finish...

OMG, squee, best bill evar, can you tell me about it?

Absolutely. When you rode down that escalator in Trump Tower, it was the first time a presidential candidate had made veterans issues a top -- you mentioned it multiple times in that speech...

The first time? Please refer to John Kerry, 2003 or Barack Obama, 2007. Or go ahead and compare Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, 2015.

Obviously you’ve been involved in veterans’ issues for years. Where did that passion first come from? [...]

Mr. President, thank you for your time, and on behalf of America’s veterans, thank you for your commitment and following through on it. We appreciate it. It's a truly historic day.

Obviously? Define “been involved.”

And in conclusion, can I wash your feet? Give you a neck rub? Please, can’t I at least praise your hair and skin tone and assure you that your tennis shorts are very flattering?