Donald Trump’s Easter tweets


This is how Donald Trump, the great Christian president, celebrates the holiest holiday in Christianity. Happy Easter!

— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) April 16, 2017


He still can’t get over the facts that he badly lost the popular vote and had one of the closest Electoral College margins ever, while even a majority of Republicans wants him to make good on what we now know was his repeated lies that he would release his tax returns. And armaments. What is an Easter without armaments? All he forgot was an Easter prayer:

King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu…

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother…

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

Brother Maynard: Amen.

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