It must be some unwritten law that tapes are a key explosive ingredient in any insanely dysfunctional Republican presidency. Newsweek has obtained fifteen hours of audio archives of Donald Trump being interviewed by Howard Stern.  It's even worse than you would expect:

The interview archive resembles a live stream from the boys’ table in a seventh-grade cafeteria. Trump eagerly rated women’s bodies, shared details of sex with his wife and roared at scatological jokes. [...]



Donald Trump thinks Ivanka “looks down on me,” concedes he has groped Melania in public, knows his compulsive handwashing “could be a psychological problem” and once suggested deploying sleeping gas on planes to deter terrorists, according to a new archive of all the conversations he had on air with The Howard Stern Show.



Those comments, along with various eyebrow-raising but predictable vulgarities, can be found in a new, online archive of Trump’s 15 hours of radio banter with the shock jock. In them, he discusses the relative hotness of his wives (and almost every other female celebrity of the moment) and his feelings about his daughter Ivanka, while chortling with Stern’s crew as they joked about who was more “gay” and whether getting vomited on was more gross than eating food that had been on someone’s anus.



Here's a sample of what the two pre-pubescents discussed on the air:

Trump: “She’d wear some pretty wild clothes.”



Stern: “Did you go to regular restaurants?”



Trump: “Yes."



Stern: “Would she wear no panties?”



Trump: “Now wait a minute, you're talking about a potential First Lady here.”



Stern: “Would she wear no panties and then put her foot in your crotch?”



Trump: “Let's just say we get along very well.”

It goes downhill from there. These tapes are going to be all over the internet by the end of the day. It's going to be a hot time in the White House tonight.