Today on “Good Morning the America You Never Thought You’d See,” Donald Trump demonstrated a need for more fiber in his diet with an extra-long tweet session. He started with an attack on Democrats for not supporting … the bill they’d been given absolutely no chance to work on, comment on, or even see. You know, the bill that was created entirely to put a thumb in their collective eye.

Trump had more to tweet on this topic, but before he could get to it, his Obama obsession kicked into high gear, demanding that he continue not just his war on the former president, but his brand-new assault on a particular word, extended into perhaps the most nonsensical Trump statement ever. And I know that’s saying a lot.

Donald Trump isn’t the Russian colluder, Barack Obama is the Russian colluder! Which he did because not doing anything about attacks on Democrats so clearly helped Democrats. No. Wait. Really.

If these tweets seem to make an extremely odd use of the word “colluded,” it’s not the first time that’s popped up in Trump’s recent series of tweets. Over the weekend, Trump also produced this beauty.

Yeah. Unfair to Bernie. Who is crazy. Did he mention that Bernie’s crazy? Oh, that’s right, he did. It’s so wonderful to be living in this post someone-took-a-shot-at-a-Republican world in which personal attacks have been expunged from politics.

But just one wave of Obama-obsession wasn’t enough for Trump on Monday.

There are no tapes. Were we looking for tapes? Why do I suddenly feel that there is a thousand miles of tape out there? 

But of course, if there are no tapes, if all there is is testimony from many, many people, then Trump gets an apology. After all, people are liars (See Trump, Donald J.).

Wait a minute. Didn’t this stream start with some other topic?

Ah. There we go. Another complaint about all the smudges Democrats left while pounding on the other side of that locked door. Also a threat to do nothing. Please, Donald Trump, don’t make us keep Obamacare. Anything but that! Democrats would hate it if you made us keep Obamacare and never even voted on your Senate bill. Yup. If you really want to hurt Colluding Barack Obama, and Crooked Hillary Clinton, and even Crazy Bernie, just force us all to live with that Obamacare.